IELTS Agree or Disagree Essay: Music is a good way of bringing people together

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

 

OPINION Эссе в 4 шага

Сегодня разберем тип “opinion” на примере эссе моей студентки (Band Score 7.0)

 

Шаг 1: после перефразированная формулируем наше мнение + 2 аргумента почему:

It is believed by some people that music is a worthy approach to connect fans even though their cultural background and age group may vary. I strongly disagree with such a statement, since on no account should the importance of individuals’ age and general level of education be ignored. Firstly, this essay will discuss the radical transformation during a person’s growing up, and secondly, it will analyze the music preferences of individuals depending on their different socio-economic status.

 

Шаг 2: поясняем первый аргумент + пример для подкрепления вашей позиции

The primary reason why music cannot unite different people is that interest towards a particular kind of music is likely to be modified in the long run depending on the stages of their life. The reason for this is that rarely do youngsters realize what type of music should be considered as a masterpiece. Therefore, young people would listen to the same music as adults do, provided that they obtained the same level of education and experience. For example, having carried out a statistical survey, sociologists have discovered that 93% of respondents confessed that being adolescents they used to listen to rap, hence, their music preferences had been considerably changed.

 

Шаг 3: поясняем второй аргумент +пример для подкрепления вашей позиции:

Another point to consider is that it is a socio-economic background that has a crucial influence on a choice of entertainment, particularly the type of music. This is owing to the fact that a range of musical options seems to have become far ampler than it used to be decades ago. As a consequence, by having such a wide range of choices, people opt for the melody they are able to understand and achieve harmony in their soul. For example, recently it has been revealed by psychologists that the musical taste of a CEO and a worker varies significantly.

 

Шаг 4: дублируем мнение в заключении + суммируем оба аргумента:

In conclusion, I am firmly convinced that music should not be thought  as a worthy approach to unite people of different ages and socio-economic backgrounds. This is due to the fact that age and cultural education/social status influence on people’s preferences in music.

 

 

Words count: 322

Grammar errors: 2 minor

Vocabulary inaccuracies: 1

Advanced Grammar Structures: 5

Less commonly used vocabulary: 10+

Cohesive & Reference Devices: 5+5

Approximate Band 7.0

Task Achievement 7.0

Coherence and Cohesion 7.0

Lexical Resource 7.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy 7.0



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