IELTS Essay: Discuss Both Views «Money for teenagers»

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IELTS Essay: Discuss Both Views «Money for teenagers»

 

Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion (Band Score 7.0).

 

Шаг первый: перефразируем задание + формулируем 1 аргумент за и 1 аргумент против во вступлении + выдвигаем наше мнение (какую сторону поддерживаем):

The argument that funds are the most appropriate present for youngsters is both supported and refuted by many. I entirely support those who consider that cash should be recognized as the best way to congratulate young people. Firstly, this essay will discuss the fact that by giving money, adults teach adolescents how to manage their own funds. And, secondly, it will analyze possible thoughtless purchases of young people on presented money.

 

Шаг 2: поясняем преимущество подарков в виде денег + пример для подкрепления вашей позиции

On the one hand, proponents of giving money as a gift appeal to the fact that only by having their personal finances, could youngsters realize the actual need to control expenses, and I agree with them. This is because on no account should the importance of such an effective financial tool as personal budgeting be ignored. As a result, if it were not for savings, young people would not afford considerable purchases in the long run. For example, having carried out certain surveys, sociologists have discovered that at least 87% of Ukrainian teenagers declared their intention to save money for valuable commodities rather than spending it for minor purchases.

 

Шаг 3: поясняем другое мнение + ослабляем этот аргумент предложением:

On the other hand, opponents of financial gifts base their opinion on the assumption that not only might youngsters waste savings on careless buys, but they could also buy forbidden goods such as cigarettes and alcohol. The reason for this is that rarely do adolescents understand the consequences and harmful influence of such habits. However, it is high time parents took control over the expenditures of their children in order to avoid unsafe goods. For instance, according to recent research of psychologists, it has been revealed that the odds are that the overwhelming majority of teenagers will ask for parents’ advice before spending personal budget.

 

Шаг 4: делаем вывод о преимуществе подаркой в виде денег (дублируем нашу позицию в заключении)

In conclusion, though people may vary in their opinions, I am firmly convinced that having personal money seems to be one of the most effective learning tools. This is owing to the fact that this approach boosts essential skills which youngsters will definitely apply in their adult lives.

 

Grammar errors:2+2

Vocabulary inaccuracies:0

Advanced Grammar Structures:7

Less commonly used vocabulary: 12

 

Approximate Band 7.0

Task Achievement 7.0

Coherence and Cohesion 7.0

Lexical Resource 7.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy 7.0

 

 

 

334 words



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